


How to Become a Part of Your Target's Family as Told by Damian al Ghul (or should he say, Damian Dupain-Cheng)

by EthelPhantom



Series: Ethel's Maribat March 2020 [10]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Alternate Universe - Assassins & Hitmen, Attempt at Humor, Badass Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Badass Sabine Cheng, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Damian Wayne Needs a Hug, Fluff, Gen, Good Parent Sabine Cheng, I mean it's kind of crack anyway so maybe the tag qualifies, In which Talia never dropped Damian off at Bruce's, MariBat, Maribat March, Marinette Dupain-Cheng is Also the Best Big Sister in the World, Marinette Dupain-Cheng is the Best, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug Is So Done, No Angst, Someone please give Damian proper love, The League of Assassins (DCU)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:55:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23171287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EthelPhantom/pseuds/EthelPhantom
Summary: Maribat March 2020, day 16: HurtOr, Damian is sent to assassinate someone and nothing ends up turning out like he would have imagined. His target isn't even dead!
Relationships: Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Damian Wayne
Series: Ethel's Maribat March 2020 [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1650745
Comments: 26
Kudos: 473
Collections: Maribat March





	How to Become a Part of Your Target's Family as Told by Damian al Ghul (or should he say, Damian Dupain-Cheng)

**Author's Note:**

> You should be happy and very thankful. I would have given you angst, but then I came up with this and instead you're getting humour with little to no angst. 
> 
> Have fun!

It was supposed to be easy. 

He’d had her in his sights, she wasn’t moving at all, there were no obstacles between them, and she was just a girl. He knew how to aim a moving target even when he was moving as well, this should’ve been easier than ‘snatching candy from a baby’. He was rather certain that was the expression anyway.

But then… 

Then why…

Why was she able to sneak up on him, now in front of him, and completely  _ unharmed?  _

The girl — Marinette Dupain-Cheng, the  _ Ladybug _ , he’d been told — was standing in front of her, looking like she was just disappointed. For some reason, the chance that was the case  _ stung. _ She had his crossbow in her hands, as well as the arrow he had shot at her which she  _ snapped in half _ , and with a sigh, she crossed her hands over her chest. 

“Are they serious? A  _ child?  _ Do they really think I’m that easy to get rid of?” she asked, clicking her tongue and shaking her head. “Go home, kid, and please tell Ra’s that just because I said no to his offers doesn’t mean I should be underestimated. If he’s heard about all of his missions around here having gone wrong, he should have already realised it was me and that a  _ kid _ isn’t going to be what takes me down.”

“I— what? What are you talking about?”

“Oh my god, I was just joking about the kid part, you’re just so short, but you’re  _ actually  _ a child? What are you,  _ ten? _ Goodness, he’s getting even worse at this.”

Damian, for a moment forgetting all his training and the fact this girl was holding  _ his  _ weapon and that she could see him and was far too close to him for comfort, just stared at her. She was young as well, a little bit shorter than him, and dressed in a red skirt and satin shirt and there was no good reasoning or logic behind how she somehow had managed to approach him without him noticing. 

The girl looked at him up and down as though she were sizing him up. Which, now that he thought about it, was most likely the case. “Well, aren’t you gonna try again? Why are you just standing there like an idiot? Surely Ra’s had you trained better.”

The words hit him a little too late, and his eyes just widened. Did this girl actually ask him if he was going to attempt assassinating her again? Just  _ who was she?  _ Was she to be killed because she had refused the league, had she said she was not going to join them? Or was it because she’d been ruining Grandfather’s missions? Was she even telling him the truth?

Still looking at him, she cocked her hips and tilted her head. “Kid,  _ please _ . You’re the only one in a long time that has made even a mediocre attempt on my life, it’s offensive if you don’t try again. Not trying again would be rude. And you wouldn’t want to offend your target when you’ve also managed to fail at killing them? Like, please choose to either succeed and offend me or fail and at least try once more,” she sighed, placing her hands on her hips. Then she booped his nose. Which, excuse her? Who did this girl think she was? He was Damian of the House of al Ghul, the heir of Ra’s al Ghul and his League of Assassins, and he was not to be disrespected like  _ this,  _ by his target nonetheless.

This was so confusing. “You actually  _ want  _ me to kill you?” slipped from his lips. 

The girl shrugged. “I mean, not really, I don’t think I would enjoy dying, but I do want you to try again. If you manage to kill me while you’re at it, that’s fine with me. It’s not like I didn’t ask you to do it.” The girl flipped her hair from her front to her back, pushing it away from her eyes. “Besides, I’m  _ bored.  _ You, kid, are the most interesting thing that has happened to me in weeks.”

Then she flipped out her yoyo —  _ a yoyo? What even…  _ — and made a ‘come here’ gesture with her hand. The crossbow she abandoned on the side, though not without taking it apart first. 

Damian huffed out of irritation and unsheathed his sword, brows still furrowed because he was confused and rather  _ offended  _ for getting sassed by his own target for  _ missing _ . It was humiliating. 

He didn’t think enough much, and instead just went for her. That was… definitely a mistake on his part as she simply stepped aside, giggling.  _ Giggling. _ That had him realise this was not a fight to be won without plans and she was not an opponent to be defeated all that easily, so he jumped and grabbed a tree branch above him, bringing himself to the safety of the shadows of the leaves. The shadows were familiar, they were home — they were the best place to hide. 

He knew them and they knew him, and he could  _ use  _ that. 

The girl was left yawning on the ground, and her eyes seemed to search where exactly he went. While she was doing that, he studied her and her movements, trying to find a weak spot. There was a limp in her walk, clearly. Maybe she’d injured her knee while they were at it because she hadn’t had that a moment ago?

Well, he had not been trained to fight fairly, he’d been trained to fight to  _ win.  _ He could also use her injury to his advantage.

So that was what he did. 

As soon as he moved though, there appeared a slight smirk on her face and she turned to look at him, her eyes locking with his even though she wasn’t supposed to be able to see him. It was disturbing. After all, he had tried to hide from her.

Regardless, he dropped down from the tree right at her, almost managing to pin her under him. The problem was, she threw him off of her, and that was lost. 

That continued for a while. He attacked, she dodged. Every single time. She didn’t even  _ try  _ to attack him, which on its own was insulting as well. Did she think he was too young to be attacked? That he couldn’t handle it? He was  _ eleven already.  _ He wasn’t that young anymore. Surely Grandfather and Mother had known how well trained this girl was and decided that Damian was the best suited to take her down. 

Aside from dodging and the occasional remark (“Is that the best you got?”, “In order to kill me, you must first be able to actually get the sword to touch me, but nice try”, “Rule number one of assassinating: don’t let the target find you, and  _ especially  _ don’t let them start a game — chances are, they’re better than you and you haven’t got even a  _ chance  _ at winning”, “It’s okay, don’t worry about not succeeding, worry about why I’m winning”, “Actually, you know what, if you’re indeed Ra’s’, maybe you  _ should _ worry about not succeeding”), the girl did nothing. It was infuriating, and at this point, Damian wanted to slap her before actually killing her. 

It took him until the latest remark to actually snap, though. 

“Please tell me Ra’s didn’t think he was sending his best because this?  _ This  _ is  _ not  _ the best,” she sighed at some point and shook her head, jumping to the side, away from his blade. 

“Silence yourself!” he snapped, clutching at the handle of his sword desperately. His voice wavered a little. “I  _ am  _ one of the best Grandfather has! Mother made sure of it!”

That had the girl stop. She threw her yoyo at his sword and snatched it from him before throwing it away and placing her yoyo back at her hip where it seemed to belong. Then she approached him cautiously, her hands open in front of her so he could see she had no weapon in her hands. When she got close enough, she placed her hands on his shoulders and looked at him with a serious expression, brows furrowed and mouth a thin line. 

“Your  _ grandfather? You  _ are the perfect vessel and weapon Ra’s mentioned in passing? You must still be like, ten.”

“I’m eleven!”

“You just proved my point, kid, and that doesn’t make it any better. Okay, yeah, the game’s off, I’m coming with you to the league. Nope, you don’t have a say in that.”

“You’re  _ what _ ?”

“Coming with you to the league. You’re too young for this, and I’m gonna make sure nothing happens to you for failing to kill me. It’s not like you’re gonna succeed anyway, and neither is your grandfather — or mother — if I have any say in it. They’re not the only people in this world with training too excellent. Especially not when one’s been trained by a lot of people,  _ including _ someone from the league. Besides, if I willingly come there with a changed mind, I doubt Ra’s would kill me until he found out why. So. Let’s go.”

Still, not completely sure about what was happening, Damian let himself be dragged along towards his transportation, and he couldn’t understand  _ how _ she knew where it was until she showed the little tracker she’d taken from his pocket. This day was proving out to be the most embarrassing and humiliating he had ever had the dishonour to face.

When they got back to where Mother and Grandfather were waiting for him, even  _ they _ couldn’t hide their surprise at the girl that had forced herself to come along, completely unharmed (had she faked the limp earlier?), smiling. Damian was sure the smile wasn’t happy or gentle though — he’d seen it before so many times, and it reminded him more of Mother’s smiles when she saw someone she loathed or someone she was furious at. It was sharp and dripping with something that could only be called wrath and superiority. Like she somehow had  _ power _ over Mother and Grandfather.

Judging by how Mother sighed and told Grandfather she was leaving him to deal with this, and how Grandfather just told her that yes, sure, she can stay if she does what the league tells her to do like his offer months ago had been, there was a chance she actually  _ did  _ have power over them. Some, at the very least. 

It was confusing. 

Years later, the girl — he’d eventually taken to mostly calling her by Ladybug or Akhtaa (my sister) — who had proclaimed herself Damian’s big sister  _ but _ said that if Ra’s somehow got the idea of making her an heiress or something because she was older, she was going to ruin any and all plans Ra’s had,  _ and  _ then gift that right straight back to Damian as long as it didn’t bring him  _ any  _ harm, and who had become one of the best assassins the league had ever had, told him to stay quiet as she took him to a plane she’d insisted on learning how to fly a year back. He could now see why she had wanted to learn. It was smart of her not to try anything until now. At some point, she stopped, took out a paper and a pen from her pocket, scribbled something on it and slammed it on the wall closest to her. It seemed to be a post-it note as it stuck. 

When he questioned her actions, she replied with “They’re abusing you, and you’re still a child, which also means, you still have a chance at a better life and  _ I’m going to make sure you get it before they fucking destroy any chance at the life you might’ve been able to get”  _ before the plane took off. 

They ended up in Paris, of all places. If Ladybug was planning on having them  _ hide somewhere,  _ the capital city of France wasn’t probably the best of places. At least she’d left the plane in another country.

The bakery, instead, might have been. It was small, even if popular judging by the number of people waiting in line, but Ladybug — maybe Akhtaa when they were near civilians who certainly didn’t know of her other life — just cut in line (apologising, of course, she was always so very polite to most people despite usually also being superior to them on all fronts), and told them she needed to see the bakers, and no, she was not going to buy anything, she’s not cutting in line that way. It was unlikely Grandfather or Mother would look into a bakery, of all places.

“Maman! I’m back,” she yelled when she got inside, dragged Damian to what looked like a living room and seated him on the sofa. In full assassin regalia. Accompanied by what was at least three different weapons, few kinds of knives and daggers and a sword.  _ How  _ was she going to explain this to anyone, let alone her… mother?

A woman came in, wiping her hands on her trousers. She did indeed look like Ladybug did — and yeah, he should maybe learn to call her Marinette now, shouldn’t he? Unless she was still content with him calling her Akhtaa because that was more comfortable to him —, just older. She also looked way too much like the infamous Nocturne in the league. She couldn’t, right— “Ah, it’s good to see you, baby. My, you’ve grown. Ra’s didn’t treat you badly, now did he? I don’t need to go kick his ass?” the short woman with a pixie cut asked Marinette, pulling her into a hug. Marinette hugged her back and smiled before untangling herself from the embrace and leading her to Damian. 

“Maman, this is Damian. I saved him and he’s now my little brother, which, actually, I should probably inform Papa of. I’m not sure he actually listened to me when I taught him how to bake, so that might be in order.”

The woman looked at him up and down, as though she were sizing him up, and didn’t being looked at like that feel just a bit too familiar? At least now he knew where Marinette — no, she’d called him her little brother in front of her mother, Akhtaa was probably still alright — had gotten her ability to do so from. 

“You look a lot like Talia. And maybe a bit like— Baby, please tell me this isn’t who I think it is.”

“It’s exactly who you think it is, Maman. Talia’s only son, Ra’s heir and the perfect vessel, but also the son of the Detective Ra’s originally was so obsessed with years ago. I would’ve taken him to his Father but that’s no less safe than staying with the league since he’s an emotionally constipated idiot who fights crime dressed as a Bat instead of getting therapy and would have taken  _ him  _ along, so I took him here. I thought we could keep him until I trust he’s either old enough to actually say no to his father if the need be or at least old enough for the fighting part not to be that bad. It’s not like I could’ve left him now. Oh, and you remember how I left for the league for a few years?”

“Yes, how could I forget?”

“Well, it’s because this kid was only eleven at the time, was told to assassinate me,  _ failed,  _ and you know how Ra’s would have taken that. So.”

A beat. Then a groan, which then turned into a growl.

“I am going to  _ kill  _ Ra’s.”

The exchange between Akhtaa and her mother was, the least to say, strange. They were talking about the league like both knew it like the backs of their hands, and there was a chance they did.

The woman Akhtaa called her mother  _ was  _ the Nocturne, wasn’t she. 

It would explain why Akhtaa had said she’d been trained by a League soldier years and years ago. Why she knew exactly how he would move. Why she knew how to handle Grandfather and Mother because there was only a handful of League soldiers who could leave the League and stay alive — she must have learnt it from Nocturne. 

Nocturne turned her eyes to Damian and smiled. It was sharp, but not in the same way as Akhtaa’s had been when she’d smiled at his Mother and Grandfather a long time ago. This smile was also soft, like she wanted to make sure Damian knew he was safe here with them. 

“Hello, Damian. I’m Sabine, Marinette’s mother, though you might know me better as Nocturne since you’re from the League. And, as she claims you to be her new little brother, I suppose I’m your new mother as well. You can call me Sabine or any version of ‘mother’, whichever you prefer. House rules are as stands: No smoking, no drugs, no underage drinking, no weapons at the dinner table, at least one meal with the family a day is a must unless the rest of the family has been informed of absence at least three hours before, and absolutely no killing within the city bounds. Also, no scaring away the customers.”

Damian just found himself nodding as Sabine continued speaking. 

“Marinette can show you to your new room. If you need anything, just tell me or Marinette. Dinner is at 8 pm sharp. Being late is not an option today. You can choose between getting homeschooled and an actual school, but we’ll discuss that later. Have fun, I’ll see you in a few hours.”

And that was how Damian found himself inserted into the Dupain-Cheng family. How he’d gotten here from trying to kill their only daughter, he wasn’t too sure, but honestly? He wasn’t complaining. 

Five years later, Akhtaa took him to Gotham and introduced him to his Father and adopted siblings (which, how in the world had Father adopted so many kids? There was at least Cassandra and Jason whom he’d met at some point in the league, Richard, the first of his children and on par with Akhtaa when it came to hugging people, Timothy, the second youngest of the children, and Duke, who was only a few years older than Damian.) They were confused but welcomed him after they’d confirmed he was indeed Father’s blood son, and Damian was relieved about it. He’d come to appreciate found family with the Dupain-Chengs and Akhtaa over the years, so it wasn’t too hard to adapt into this family either — though that was probably because Akhtaa and he had insisted on having her as a family as well. After all, she was more of a big sibling to him than any of the others together. 

He wasn’t sure he wanted to know how meeting them would have gone if Mother and Grandfather were the ones to send him to his Father, especially if that had happened when he was still younger.

Good thing he didn’t need to know.

He would  _ never  _ need to know.

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, Marinette is hurt and offended because the only one who has made a proper attempt on her life is a child, and Damian is confused and offended that his _target_ is sassing him for _missing_. You were supposed to get someone actually, physically hurt and instead you're getting this. Be happy.
> 
> Also, do come scream at me on my [tumblr](https://ethelphantom.tumblr.com/) if you feel like it!


End file.
